Let’s Give Em Something to Talk About

It’s been 10 years, 4 months and 23 days since Jamie and I began our dance through this life. We have graduated college, started careers, bought a house and rescued a dog. Marriage has been a topic of conversation for a few years now, but we finally got serious about it last Spring and set our day for November of this year. We live in a state that hasn’t yet legalized same-sex marriage, but we are determined to have the wedding day of our dreams.

To us, this is our wedding, like it is to any straight couple that has ever married. When I make calls to the DJ, the hotel, the shuttle….I am just one of two brides planning her big day. I sometimes forget that it isn’t exactly the norm. I forget that most people assume Bride and Groom when they hear “Wedding”. It doesn’t upset me – I understand the world I live in. I just sometimes forget that I am still a queer peg in a round hole.

I do often yearn for a world that does’t jump to conclusions about sexual orientation – one where gay couples don’t feel so out-of-place in the normal family settings. But, I have to say, planning a Lesbian Wedding has pretty much given us carte-blanche to do as we please!

From friends at work I hear, “My Mother made me this,” and “My mother-in-law never would have allowed that.” I hear people discuss the “proper” RSVP method, the “accepted” way of organizing the ceremony, and the “formal” feel all weddings must have. It all kind of makes me sick. I get so frustrated thinking that there’s some invisible force writing how everyone’s wedding should play out. Isn’t that why we dream about it for so long – so we can make it our day?

Jamie and I have said a big “screw you” to all the typical wedding crap and have had an absolute blast with it. We are making the day about us and the life we have built together. We completely pulled apart the usual format and rewrote it. Since we are already a non-traditional couple, why not go the full distance and give them all a ceremony and reception that’ll keep them talking? Our wedding, will without a doubt, be an experience for our guests. It’s taken us 10 years, 4 months and 23 days to get to where we are and there is no way we are going to start blending in now.


Our cake topper – We kind of have a thing for Dia de los Muertos

6 thoughts on “Let’s Give Em Something to Talk About

  1. Congratulations! I’m glad you’re taking to heart the spirit of it being your very own big day and doing things the way you want.

    That’s the good thing about being a little on the outside of society. Although as you say, it would be nice if it what’s normal for us weren’t such a big deal for everyone else.

    That’s an eye catching cake topper!

  2. YES YES YES!!!!! I wish ALL weddings were as you have said! Honestly….I have always been confused about why people go through such motions without even really considering what they mean…what expresses their relationship….and what they (not society) would like to celebrate their intimate partnership. Partner Dylan and I have said the same thing over and over again—to such an extent that we have agreed to keep all ideas about even getting married AT ALL to ourselves until we have every last detail planned….so that we can line-block accordingly. I have honestly never liked a single wedding I have ever attended and was always bewildered at how so many seemed to wish for such a strange series of events as those typically surrounding weddings. if i/we choose to do it, not one single thing will be done in the name of “traditionalism”. Side note: i discovered the other day that people actually BUY a little pillow to hold the rings. A PILLOW? They buy this? Bizarre I tell you 😉

    • Haha yes it is insane what so many Brides desire these days! A friend of mine recently told me that Brides-to-be were walking out of reception halls that did not offer the “chivari” chair as an option for guests. Seriously!?! I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t tend to pay much attention to my CHAIR at a wedding.

  3. Pingback: Pride Baby | That Lesbian Teacher

  4. Pingback: Pride Baby | That Lesbian Teacher

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